Enigma Variations Day 2
Excerpt 2
"My impulse had always been to look away to avoid his eyes, but they held me, and i wanted to be held by them, for they were ordering me not to turn away this time, for this was why adults stared each other in the eye: you looked straight back and there was no running away for cover, because you were invited to stare too, because it was longer a breach of any kind, it was breach not to stare--which is when i realized that what i'd been craving all this time was his eyes, not his hands, not his voice, not his knees, or even his friendship, just his eyes, for i wanted his eyes to rest forever on me the way they were doing just now, because i loved the way they hovered over my face and eventually landed on my eyes like the hand of a holy man who is about to touch your eyelids, your forehead, your whole face, because his eyes kept swearing i was the dearest thing in the world, because there was piety, grace and beneficence in his gaze that favored me with its beauty and told me there was no less piety, beauty, and grace in mine."
我的反应一直都是转眼躲避他的眼睛，但这次他的眼睛把我定住了，正中我意，因为它们在警告我不要躲闪，因为大人们就是这样互相凝视的：你要直勾勾地盯回去，没有逃避 ，没有躲闪，因为对方发出了邀请，因为这不再是什么冒犯，不盯回去才是冒犯——而在那一刻我才意识到我一直渴望的并不是他的双手、他的声音、他那顶着我的膝盖，甚至连他的友谊都不是，而是他的眼睛，只有他的眼睛，因为我想让他一直永远的像现在这样看着我，因为我喜欢它们在我脸上游荡，最后落在我的眼睛上，正如即将给人施礼的圣人，他的手要轻触你的眼睑、额头和整个脸颊，因为他的眼睛一直在向我保证我是这世上最珍贵的，因为他的眼神里充满虔诚、恩宠和慈爱，并将自己的美好馈我一人，并告诉我我的眼睛里也有与他相同的虔诚、美好和恩宠，不差一分。